Ok so my list from last, last, week…. I’ve made very, very, very little progress on these things. Let me explain.
I did not have time to update last week, which is a failure on my part, I’m sorry. I wish it was a good thing but its not. If you wanted me to tell you what I did instead, I would have nothing. I’m sure I made progress towards my Goals but I couldn’t tell you right now what that progress looked like if you paid me. So let me deal with this list in the way I had planned. Let’s start with number 1 which sounds like the easiest part. It looks like the most shallow, most easy but its not. And for you to understand why all you have to do is to look at me;
Has Lord Vader ever been this sexy?
I have some news for you dear reader, I am black, and therefore I HAVE BLACK HAIR. Also I have my hair locked. Which is great, ‘cause I’m lazy, but bad, ‘cause I’m lazy. I only have to “do” my hair about once every 6 months. Which is great. Unfortunately that one time means I have to sit for 12 to 14 hours… Which is bad. My hair is also long (for me anyway), which means that my arms get very tired after 20 minutes. If you don’t believe me hold both hands over your head, and rotate a water bottle clockwise for 20 minutes, go ahead I’ll wait.
Are your arms tired yet? no? Congrats you must be a weightlifter and you can kiss my ass. The rest of you are tired, and your arms are stiff. Now imagine doing this for 14 hours… I love my hair, but I hate how long it takes. I don’t have the attention span for it. Blame the listicle, the internet, or commercial breaks, but there is not a movie around that can make this part less boring.
Also I have to wash that shit first. Don’t look at me like that I wash my hair 2x a week. However, it takes a half a bottle of shampoo to make sure I get everywhere and to make sure I get deep down in there and it draws my shower out from 15 minutes to about an hour.
Duo and I do in fact have something in common besides an unhealthy obsession with Heero (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v55/SonKikyo/character_duo_maxwell.jpg)
It is fun though. When I was a little girl wearing shower caps I used to dream of having Duo Maxwell hair. Of luxuriating in the shower for hours and hours basking in the smell of sweet shampoo and having men just want to walk up to me and want touch it. To have men daydream about laying me flat, and pulling that hair, while biting my neck and… *blushes* ahem. That’s a post for another day.
If you know what this means put down the fanfiction (http://flowchainsensei.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/lemon.jpg)
Well I have that hair now. .. when my roots aren’t nappy that is. Also having strangers walk up to you and ask to touch your hair is a lot creepier then I imagined. What’s even creepier than that is when people don’t ask first, and touch it anyway because they read the same shitty story I have. Creepy!
Also I have some knowledge to lay on you about my hair and where I’m coming from. This may no longer be true, and I am in no way dirty or by myself in this, however this is how it started. When I was little I hated getting my hair done because it hurt. But I loved water (still do). I hated the fact that my hair stayed the same for 2 weeks. I hated washing my hair in the sink instead of the shower. I hated not being able to let other kids play with my hair. I hated not being able to play with my own hair. As I got older I got my hair straightened which was also a long process and uncomfortable and only lasted a day. I hated not being able to sleep naturally. I hated rollers, I hated shower caps.
And fuck you both
I hated the misrepresentation of who I was. I hated the thought that I would have to put my hair in rollers after a night of sex. “Hey honey I would love to cuddle with you in post coital bliss, but this hair ain’t gonna fix itself, i gotta put my rollers in” (Insert expletives)
I got my first perm before a pool party, and that lasted until the end of the pool party. Eff you kiddie perm. The entire point was so that i could get it wet. My hair stopped growing when I used that shit. It actively started falling out.
In high school all the girls had weaves; nothing grossed me out more than misrepresenting myself with fake hair and STILL not being able to sleep without a head scarf and rollers. Heaven forbid you try to roll over in the night.
Have you ever tried to sleep in these?… Assholes
Ugh, this is already longer than I planned, so TBC. And I swear I’ll start doing my hair toni- wait, I mean tomorrow…
- Do my hair
- Fundraise for my dogs vet bills (please click here to donate love and moneys~! https://www.facebook.com/Sundance1822 & http://www.gofundme.com/SundanceArcher *
- Train my dog to stop whining (also known as communicate better with my animal)
- Take my dog back to obedience class
- Pay all my bills *
- Get my A+
- Cook dinner every night*
- Mix drinks at home instead of buying beer *
- Become a regular at a bar that’s not failing
- Read all the books *
- Watch one dvd on my Netflix every night
- Go to the doctor to get my things fixed
- Do my laundry *
- Clean my room *
- Get my own pimptastic camera
- Learn how to use my friends camera
- Get my degree in anthropology
- Learn how to act
- Do agility with my dog
- Get a canine good citizenship award for my dog
- Teach my dog to do search and rescue
- Work on my documentary *
*’s indicate progress made, although minor. Here is your true Escape from PA moment
I owe you guys a new post or a complete thought before next Thursday.
Next time: My Hair continued, On Bronies, my issues with writing a blog (maybe), and whatever else. Ask me a question dear reader and maybe I’ll give you a post…