Mai Hair

So where did I leave off?  Ahh yes, doing my hair.  Sorry I’ve been gone so long gentle reader, when I was supposed to be writing this I caught a cold.  Instead of updating you about my pain I decided to get well.  Then the snow came aaahh, the evil snow.  The awesome snow, the horrible snow.  The snow that kept me from walking my dog very far.  The snow that allowed me to work from home the majority of January.  The snow that my dog hates/loves.  But the snow that gave me time to get some stuff done.  Congratulate me, I washed my hair!  I still haven’t done it yet L but back to story time.

Do my hair Part 2.  I always wanted hair down to my knees, you can blame Duo if you want, but I’m pretty sure that this ideal came before that.  Maybe Pippi Longstocking?  Who knows?  But if perming it didn’t work because it started falling out, what can I do?

I didn’t want locks, let me be completely clear.  I had one of those stereotypical views on the subject (isn’t it dirty? What about that guy who got gum in his hair and didn’t know for 3 weeks? How do you wash it?)  you know things people who don’t have locks like to ask, or think, and point out.  So I started getting my hair braided.  It cost $200 dollars a pop and I didn’t even have hair that was longer than shoulder length.  It was the same amount of money I would have spent had I get that shit, permed or straightened.  For a broke and starving college student that sucks.  I tried asking friends, but they all knew how long doing my hair would take and even then they wouldn’t give up a Saturday afternoon for free.  Eff that see broke college above.  I got a job, to get my hair done, and I didn’t even get to enjoy it like that.  Also when you get your hair done you can’t wash your hair again for 2 to 3 days.  Have I mentioned how much I enjoy washing my hair?  Cause I do.  I hate that shit.  Desperately trying to hold onto a style, and the rollers, and the head scarves, they have go away!  Eventually I decided to stop getting it done and rock the headscarf look for a really long time.  So I could wash my hair and go.  Like they do in the movies.  It has always been my goal to be the kind of girl who’s hair would stay the way it was supposed to be through the apocalypse.  Eventually I needed work, I went from desk receptionist at college, to cigarette muse, to barista.  When I started working at borders (rest in peace) this all changed.  You know what you couldn’t wear when you worked at Borders? Teenage Ninja Turtle head scarves.  Non-religious head scarves, hats, and things with logo’s on them.  Maybe this is why they went out of business but apparently when you work at a bookstore you have to look uber professional.  No mismatched socks, no drinking water in front of customers, no reading books when its slow, no sitting on the sales floor unless you are re-racking books on the bottom shelf and you have a bad back.  No saying “no, we don’t have that” to the customer, no saying no.  No clothing with words on it, no, No, NO.  Imagine every stupid minor cool thing you think you know about working at a book store.  Now realize that’s not how it works.  ( Also realize that there are roughly 130 million books in the world. No also realize coming into a bookstore looking for a book with the only description being that it is blue, is rude.   I mean it, if you don’t even know what genre you should wait until next time.  That however is a gripe for another day.)


“yes we organized our book store by color just for you”

The fact of the matter is I couldn’t just cover up my hair anymore when I rolled out of bed running late.  There was no option to roll out of bed for me.  I would have to get out of bed 2 hours before work, if I wanted my hair styled in a “respectable fashion” and/or sleep with rollers and head scarves.  Fuck You.  Also, I look like shit with an afro.  Also, at that point in time the amount of discrimination I faced on job interviews for just not having permed hair was a special kind of stupid.  I gave up. I thought that most people just rolled out of their beds with their hair looking awesome.  I wanted to be like that.  It took me about 8 roommates to realize that not even bald men do that.


 Gotta shave that bad boy clean…

But now I do.  In giving up on perms, and weaves, and stuff that I didn’t like and just being lazy, I braided my hair, and it started to lock up… and I didn’t mine.  And now look at me. I wash my hair, my styling products are soap and water.  I spend an hour washing my hair, droping all the shampoo into it.  And its fun! I let it air dry.  Then I just go.  It doesn’t even look wet. It looks awesome without all that extra product.  During the zombie apocalypse my hair will still be awesome.   At the end of times, it will be clean and styled using only my fingers.  My bed head is HOT! And my hair is long.  Just like I always wanted.  I bust your stereotypes and bring you fantasies to life!   BWAHAHA!  Or maybe I will someday.  I still haven’t taken Krav Maga or gotten a bullet proof corset, but I’m working on it.  There are in fact only 24 hours in a day with which I have to turn myself into my ideal.  Getting  my hair done so that I can just get up and go is a small victory but a victory none the less. By the way I started writing this post last week but didn’t finish it until now because, well you know… Life got in the way.  But I shall oh I shall, and while I was writing this I managed to start doing my hair.  Halfway through the head.  😀 Will wonders never cease?

  1. Do my hair*
  2. Fundraise for my dogs vet bills (please click here to donate love and moneys~! & Image
  3. Train my dog to stop whining (also known as communicate better with my animal)*
  4. Take my dog back to obedience class*
  5. Pay all my bills *
  6. Get my A+
  7. Cook dinner every night*
  8. Mix drinks at home instead of buying beer
  9. Become a regular at a bar that’s not failing
  10. Read all the books *
  11. Watch one dvd on my Netflix every night
  12. Go to the doctor to get my things fixed
  13. Do my laundry *
  14. Clean my room *
  15. Get my own pimptastic camera
  16. Learn how to use my friends camera*
  17. Get my degree in anthropology
  18. Learn how to act
  19. Do agility with my dog
  20. Get a canine good citizenship award for my dog
  21. Teach my dog to do search and rescue
  22. Work on my documentary *

And here is your true escape from PA moment

Next time: On Bronies, my issues with writing a blog (maybe), and whatever else.  Ask me a question dear reader and maybe I’ll give you a post, and what the hell happened to my dog? Aka #2


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